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A Peacemaker

Janet Schultz

Sep 23, 2024

Matthew 5:9 Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.

I will try to nutshell this story. I had a great aunt by marriage who was, as family history put it, a
handful to say the least. I never heard what actually happened to set the rest of the family off,
but my dad once told me that when he was a kid he saw her get physically thrown out of a
family gathering. When I was all grown up and there were still people around who knew her, I
got eye rolls and versions of “oh my goodness” but no details. But apparently she was
something else. As relatives got older and started passing away, including her husband, my dad
wrote her a letter expressing his wish that “bygones could be bygones” and that they could have
a relationship. Lo and behold she called him and set up a time for us to go to dinner at her
apartment. We all lived in Minneapolis so it wasn’t hard, and off we went. I was about fifteen.
We had a wonderful time, she cooked us a delicious meal and our time was lovely. It was the
only time I ever saw her. Many years later I told my pastor at the time and he said, “Your dad
was a peacemaker.” Yes he was. Blessed are the peacemakers, and I took his words to heart.

She passed away about six years later, which is when I found out how far hard feelings can go.
It turns out that her only child, her daughter, disliked her extremely. Once again I never could
find out why. The daughter had long ago married and moved to a different state to raise her
family. However the aftermath of my great aunt’s death was quite dramatic, especially back then
(the early 1980s). The daughter came in from out west, had her mother cremated (which was
just not done at that time), and put her in an unmarked grave next to her husband, my great
uncle, then left town. A very quick, surgical strike. Wow.

I was a lot younger back then and time has gone on. However I yearly visit the cemetery in
Wisconsin where she is buried, along with many other people I am related to. It has always
bothered me that her grave is unmarked. I have no idea what caused such a toxic relationship
between her and her daughter and there is no one left who can tell me, but here we are.
This year I decided to get to going and get her a marker, which is still a work in progress.
Everyone who might object is gone. It will cost a bit, but as I was working out the finances I
suddenly received a bit of money owed to me from several years back and am putting that
toward this project. I’m working with a monument company and a cemetery board. This wasn’t
exactly an ‘in a nutshell’ story was it?

My current pastor said something to me about this that really resonated. That I was honoring
what my dad had started. I am honored that I am being used by God to acknowledge that she
spent time on this earth. People might think I’m goofy for doing this, but I feel compelled and I
know it’s the right thing. There is no going back to repair my great aunt’s relationship with her
daughter. Their time here has passed. I can only hope they were in relationship with Jesus
when they left this earth. My dad is long gone but his effort has left a profound lifelong effect on
me. Is there a situation where you can be a peacemaker? Are there amends to be asked for?
Can you help someone else do this? My dad had the humility to reach out and my great-aunt
had the humility to accept his plea.

Janet Schultz
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